FICTION  |  By Shirley Green » The voice of the spirit was clear and precise but the words began with a whisper: “Tell them I am here...”

Annie was annoyed.  After all these years here he was calling on her again.  She walked faster, hoping that this particular spirit would just go away and leave her be.  Leave her be as they all had since her husband died ten years ago.

How blessed had been these ten years when she hadn’t had to walk between the worlds of the living and the dead.  Ten years when she had been able to mourn and grieve the loss of her beloved Tom and then acknowledge that it would be years before they would be together again.  In what time frame or world she was not privy to, but of this she was sure: they would be together.  Their love was not finished yet.

“It’s that blasted Deathwalker spirit; the rest I can deal with.  But him!  He just won’t let me forget the commitment I made all those years ago when I took on the mantle of Shaman.  First there had been The Calling.  And I had not been young like most are when they hear the Call; fiftyish I believe.  True, I had been very ill and near deaths door but had been spared.  Spared to accept the call of the Spirits to use talents I had kept hidden when I was a youth.  I was to use them to benefit not just family and community, but any that were in need.”

Now Alan Miller was in need of her.  Sara, Alan’s wife, had called yesterday to tell her that Alan was dying and was asking for her.  Asking her to come and be with him and his family so that he could die in peace, in the knowledge that he would not walk that last road alone.

“Well, ten years is a long time between jobs,” Annie chuckled to herself. “ There, you old Deathwalker spirit, I’m back on the job.  You and all the rest of them were there for me in the beginning when there was so much I needed to learn.  You were there to guide me, show me the way.  Especially you, Deathwalker.  You showed me that walking with you as people approached their last earth-walk for this incarnation was a priviledge very few are capable of.  I now call on all of you once more to be with me on this journey.”

Annie was finishing up her early morning walk and in a few minutes she would be home, but first she had to walk through the squalor that was Carp Street where the poorest of Craigville lived.

Ten years ago she knew most of the people on Carp Streeet and had tended to their ill and dying.  She now only knew the very old.  They would be calling on her again because they would know she was back on the job.  

It was rare these days but sometimes she would encounter a young person on Carp Street who would meet her gaze unflinchingly and Annie intuitively knew that person “had the sight”.

One day their paths would cross again.

Home at last.  Annie breathed a sigh of relief as she took in the cozy home where she and Tom had shared years of love, companionship and adventure along with the resident cat.

Removing her old but warm winter jacket, rainbow- coloured toque and sturdy fleece-lined winter boots (definitely not in fashion), Annie stepped into the warm kitchen and wished she did not have to go and minister to anyone’s needs but her own. “I’m old, Deathwalker.  Soon I’ll be calling on you myself.”

“Tell them I am here...” 

Sighing with fatigue, Annie went about gathering what she would need to journey to the other world with Deathwalker and Alan, if Alan was ready.  Keesha Kat who had been grooming herself on the window sill jumped off to wrap her body in and out of Annie’s legs to let her know that she was there for her.  “Keesha Kat,what would I do without you my girl?”  Keesha Kat just revved up her purr motor, then settled down to watch Annie gather her bundle.  “Well, the most important is my drum Keesha Kat.  That is if that is what Alan still wants.  It’s his journey and he is in charge of what we do, right?”  Keesha Kat just blinked her green eyes. “Really, that’s all I need.  Must get going, it’s a good twenty minute walk from here.”

Annie could have called a taxi or asked someone for a ride but she preferred to walk if at all posssible.  It gave her time to compose her thoughts, calm whatever commotion the day had brought to her and of course, call in the spirits.  Deathwalker would hold the most important role on this visit.

“Tell them I am here...”

“I’m old my friend, but I’m not totally senile yet!  I’m on my way!”  With that Annie donned her jacket, toque and boots once more, and began her journey to Ron and Sara’s home.

She could feel the spirits gathering around her as she neared her destination.  It was a comfortable feeling, one she realized she had actually started to miss in the last ten years.  They were here for her once more to assist her on Tom’s last earth journey.  Annie knew that Deathwalker was not among them.  She could not feel his presence.  He would be waiting at Tom and Sara’s home.

Sara let her in.  As Annie removed her outdoor clothing she had to squint to see beyond Sara who stood just in front of her. “Sara, for goodness sake ,open some of the drapes.  It’s a glorious day with sun and blue skies.  I know that your Alan loves days like this.”  Crying profusely, Sara told Annie that while Alan was ready for this final journey, she was not.  Enfolding Sara in her arms Annie confided, “None of us are ever ready Sara.  Whether it’s a long time coming or unexpectedly quick, we are never ready, my dear.  Sara, you need to ask Alan who he wants with him.  The rest can busy themselves elsewhere unless he asks for them.” 

Annie had felt a turbidity in the house whih she attributed to the many relatives milling aimlessly about.  Composing herself, Sara went into the front room where Alan’s hospital bed had been set up by the picture window where he could watch the winter birds that gathered at the feeders he had put up in early November.

While Sara was opening the drapes and asking Alan who he wanted with him, he turned his head. “Is Annie here yet?  Did she bring Drumsong?”

“I’m here, Alan, and so is Drumsong.  Tell me what’s been going on these last few days, my old friend.”

Alan chuckled.  ‘Well, Annie, I’m not ready for that coffin yet.  You know, I don’t even want a coffin.  Just a plain old shroud.  Guess I’m going to have to be a little more forceful about that, eh? Good grief, they all know I want to be cremated.  What’s the point of burning an expensive coffin? 

Good, he still has a sense of humour.  Perhaps it won’t be to-day.  “What else, Alan.  What else has been going on?”

“Annie, I’ve been visited by my mother and father.  Annie, they’ve been dead for over forty years, but it was them.  Standing right at the end of my bed.  Clear as I can see you.”

“Did they talk to you Alan?”

“Yeah, and so did my brother Cyril.  You remember me and Sara telling you about him?  How he died from a hit and run?  So long ago I can’t remember just when.  He was here, too.  Smiling that big smile of his.  Too young to die, Annie, too young.  Riding his bike.  Didn’t have a chance.”

Alan’s children and close relative were gathering around his bed.  “Alan, Sara and all your kids are here and some of you relatives.”

“Yeah, I see them. Others too.  Old friends that have been gone a long time, Annie.  They’re waving at me, smiling, telling me that they’re waiting for me.  There’s one that I don’t exactly know. Definitely a male though.  Kind of seeing him through a mist.  I don’t think I know him, but I must, Annie, or he wouldn’t be here, right?  You know what’s funny, Annie? The rest of them seem to know him.  They all move aside to let him through so I can see him better, but he’s still not really close enough to see clearly.  Clearer than yesterday though, Annie.”

Deathwalker.  Yes, thought Annie.  Those who have died before know he is here and they are moving aside to let him come closer, to greet Alan and lead him to the Spirit Guides and those who are waiting for him on the other side of The Veil.

Sara had moved to lie down on the bed beside Alan and as Annie got out her drum she asked the rest to either sit or stand but to please let one of their hands touch Alan’s arms or legs so that he could feel their presence as well as see them.

As Annie started to softly stroke Drumsong, she spoke to those gathered around Alan. “Please know that Alan and Sara talked to me about their final journeys many years ago.  All of us will be on our own journey of meditation to-day but I will be guiding Alan.”  Drumsong responded to Annie’s hand with a soft melodious beat that allowed Annie to speark and be heard above the beat.

The Spirits were close, Annie could feel them as she asked Alan to go to that one special place he loved above all others on earth.  She asked him to take in everything he saw.  Everything. Release all those hurts, fears and burdens he had carried with him through the years. “Know that you are loved, Alan.  Know that you are loved and will always, always be remembered.”

Sara was trying to choke back her tears but as Drumsong continued to speak she was able to let herself cry.

Alan was breathing regularly, eyes closed, listening to Annie and Drumsong when suddenly there was complete silence.  Alan opened his eyes to see Annie slumped in her chair, Drumsong slipping down her lap to the floor.

Deathwalker had come.  Alan would wait for another day.  

• Shirley Green lives and writes from The Jewel Of The North in the Northeastern District of Algoma. This story was previously published in Confabulation 4, by Wynterblue Publishing Canada Inc.